So, earlier I decide to expand my horizons a little and sign up on OK Cupid. I go through their process of asking me a lot of questions…some of them very strange. I am 10 minutes into it, without any real information on my profile other than my age, general location, and a picture and my email literally blows up! I got over 30 emails within minutes. I felt like a tiny goldfish thrown into a bowl full of piranhas! It really was unnerving.
I begin to skim over the emails and most of them are from out-of-state. Some from across the country and one from India. They are all telling me how beautiful I am…OK…but, some of them are telling me what a wonderful person I am. What? You got that from a picture, did you? One of the things I despise most about internet dating is the shallowness of it. I hate being judged on my looks when I have so much more to offer. I hate the chit-chat that goes along with the internet dating dance. You can tell me anything you want. I am a concrete thinker, as many Nurses are. I can hear something but, I have to actually see it with my own eyes to believe it. The more someone tries to tell me what a nice guy they are, the more suspicious I get. The more I do my Nurse eye roll. Why are you trying to sell yourself so hard?
I try so hard not to be so cynical but, in the face of what I experienced tonight how could I not be? My best friend from High School tells me to lower my standards or I will be alone forever. Is that really so bad? I have a full life. I have my kids, nieces, friends and family. I love my career. I tell my friend that I can’t lower my standards. If I am not with someone who sees deep into my heart and knows my soul, I would much rather be alone. When I ask someone why they love me the last thing I want to hear is, “Because, you’re pretty”. I am too much of a thinker to be satisfied with that. Been there, done that. My feeling run deep. I want a connection. I need a connection. Will I ever find it? Who knows? Will I live my life full of passion, love and unadulterated fun? I already am.
I deleted my profile after 15 minutes.
10 Years a Single Mom 